A Day Of Thanks

Today, November 26, 2009, is a day to reflect and give thanks to what we are blessed with each and every day of our lives. Just this time last year I was preparing the Thanksgiving meal (as I am doing this year). I had just given birth to my second child, Ethan, a month and 1/2 earlier. I was also preparing (emotionally) for a 2nd surgery (hysterectomy) scheduled for less than a month away. We made it through it all (cancer free was the outcome of the biopsy) and here we are today, reflecting. Thank you, God, for my health.

This year was a whirlwind to say the least. Ethan is a year old and Tyler is four. They play together, they fight with each other, they hug each other, and give kisses to each other. Tyler is such an independent little girl (just like her mommy). She is confident, happy, loving, and full of life and energy. Ethan is an amazing little boy. He's so strong willed trying so hard to keep up with his big sister, climbing everything in sight, trying to read his books, banging and rough housing just like little boys do. I can't help but feel blessed every time I'm with them. Thank you, God, for my children.

My husband has been my solid rock since the day I met him. In this last year he has really stepped up and re-defined support and partnership. He has cared for the children while I was in the hospital (both times), he has taken Tyler out on daddy/daughter dates when Ethan was just born to show her she is also special. He has forgiven my mood swings as my hormones have roller-coastered throughout the year. He continued to volunteer as a youth football coach and give back to his community through something he loves and knows. My husband has stayed positive in a year that other's would disconnect. Thank you, God, for my husband.

My mother, sister, and father are with me every step of the way in this game we call life. My mother has come out throughout the year to help with the birth and 2nd surgery. She comes out as often as possible to simply visit and through Grammy style love to the kids. She too, has, forgiven my mood swings and simply shared her wisdom (she's been there too you know). She's taught me how to be a better mom, how to relax (well a little), how to keep smiling through it all, and of course how to cook. Robin pings me on a regular basis just to check in and say hello. She continues to extend kind words and confide in me as only sisters do. My father has grown so much this last year. I love his smiles, his positive statements, and his reminders that he loves me. Thank you, God, for my family.

I'm blessed to still have my grandmother of 89 years old (as of tomorrow). Throughout my life she has shared so much wisdom with me. Her mantra is "It can always be worse." It's important to remember daily that no matter what we are going through, someone else may be suffering worse and need our love, support, and prayers. Thank you, God, for Memere.

I've had a great year with my in-laws. As often as I miss my family and friends back east, I am happy that they are just an hour away so that we can visit and show my children what family is. They are a family of warmth, love, giving hearts, laughter, and kind words. Thank you, God, for my in-laws.

Technology continues to advance so quickly that I can't even keep up. I've been able to connect with folks I hardly ever talk to; including past high-school friends, cousins, child-hood friends, past co-workers and even some current co-workers. We get to share our ups and downs, pictures and videos, and links and games. How cool is that. Thank you, God, for technology and bringing me together in some way with these folks.

In this struggling economy, I still have a job. I've made it through many lay-offs and come out on the other side. I've got one of the best jobs around. It allows me to take time off as needed to run errands, volunteer at kids school, work from home, work out, and make a very good wage. I've formed wonderful friendships through the many teams I've had the opportunity to work on. Thank you, God, for my job.

As you can see, I have so much to be thankful for each and every day. On this day of Thanksgiving, I sit here in awe of what my life is. It is truly the best life!!

Time

Today, Ethan is one year old (actually tonight as he was born a little after 6pm). Where has the time gone? What have I learned in this past year? Where will the next fast years take our family?

God has blessed us with two wonderful children. At times we struggle in the same ways other families do; financial, patience and parenting knowledge. Always, we remember many times throughout the day how truly blessed we are (even at an older age). I try to stop and savor moments as often as I can. One from just two days ago goes something like this;

Tyler was watching The Wiggles. A good song came on and we started dancing in the living room. Ethan stood up from playing with his toys and started bouncing up and down to dance also. We all were laughing and having so much fun. I wish I could bottle that joy and give it to everyone I know. That is what life is all about.

Happy Birthday, Ethan. May we find joy and laughter in all our years together.

I love you.

Mom

Denise

Things To Learn From Our Children

This morning my 4 yr. old daughter and I picked up her daily blessing book. This is what it read:

"Love First
Let love be your greatest aim. 1 Corinthians 14:1, TLB

Have you got big plans for tomorrow? Like playing catch with a friend? Or running through the crunchy fall leaves? Or watching your favorite video? Whatever you do tomorrow, do it with love. You see, of all the things you do each day, the most important of all is to love others. So when you're playing catch, be kind to your friend. When you run in the leaves, ask your brother to join you. When you turn on that video, snuggle up next to your mom. Then everyone will have a great day!

Whatever you do, you can do it with love. It's God's biggest rule from heaven above."

Its so basic yet so important to remember.

Love,

Denise

Blues

It's tough enough being a woman/mom in this world. Why do we have to have hormonal ups and downs? Two months after the birth of my 2nd son I had to have a hysterectomy. My fallopian tubes and ovaries were left because I am 43 and may still have lots of time before going through menopause. Well, this doesn't prevent me from going through a monthly cycle of mood swings as if I was going to actually have a period.

For me, it's two to three days of pure yuckiness. Yesterday I was easily agitated. Today I am emotional and get easily agitated, and almost depressed. I don't want to do anything with my children or husband. I just want to be left alone and go to sleep. I work extra hard on days like this to keep my mouth quiet so I don't hurt anyone's feelings because it wouldn't be intentional at all.

On the bright side, I picked up a book called The Mood Cure by Julia Ross. It's about looking at a natural approach to mood swings. I am very hopeful that this book will give me some insight to keep my moods leveled.

In closing, I salute all those women who have figured it out and don't have this issue. To those of you like me, hang in there. This is where the saying "This too shall pass," is true.

Ciao.

Beliefs

I read an interesting section in a book the other day, a portion of it reads like this;

"Your attitudes and beliefs directly affect your actions, which eventually impact your results and thus, your lifestyle. In truth, beliefs are simply perceptions. When an event occurs (fact) and you attach a feeling to it (emotion), it becomes a perception (how you view the event) and ultimately a belief. Unfortunately, our perceptions are often inaccurate because our emotions color the facts."

How do we then get to the core belief to challenge it or allow it to stick and help us through life?

I think it's important to reflect internally on our core beliefs because our beliefs can dictate our outward behaviors and spoken words. For me, I want to make sure that I am sharing beliefs with my family and friends that help them and myself grow, express kindness and compassion for others, and maintain an openness that it is ok to dissect what is behind a belief and decide whether to keep it or throw it away.

What do you think?

Change in Seasons

This has been a challenging week. It's a great time of year and a rough time of year, FALL!! I love most everything about it. Colds run through most homes at the changes of seasons and mine was no different. It started with me and my son this past weekend. It hit my daughter and husband a couple days later. We have all carried it at different stages all week. I would up taking just about an entire week of vacation time to care for everyone.

• Monday I left work early as my cold just kept getting worse as the day went on.


• Tuesday was tons of fun for me because I got to cuddle with my 4-year old daughter all day.


• Wednesday was a little more difficult because my soon to be 1-year old son doesn't really cuddle. He wouldn't let me put him down at all and cried or cat napped most all day. Turns out, after the doctor visit, he has an ear infection. My husband also stayed home but wasn't up for taking shifts with the baby. Men don't seem to handle colds as well as women, I think. The worst and the best though was sitting on the sofa, holding my son during one of his tiny naps and I could feel his drool dripping down my chest like a slow leaky faucet. Yuck - this is it - I've really made it to motherhood.


• Here we are at Thursday. I'm home again with my son - day 2 of antibiotics. He seems to be feeling better as he'll at least nap in his crib. Yesterday, I could not put him down AT ALL.


• Friday, tomorrow, I'm hoping we are all functional and back to somewhat normal.

Colds will come and colds will go. The best thing out of colds is the love and tenderness we give to each other. I believe that's called "compassion." With home made soup, warm tea, and lots of hugs, we'll make it through another season.

Literacy Begins at Home

I am an avid reader. I am a believer in the many reasons to start reading with our children early. When both of my children were born, I got them their first library card. They go to reading time at the library and we read and/or look at books every day, including reading a story before bed.

Below is an excerpt from something I found at the library. According to research, there are six pre-reading skills that children must learn in order to learn to read.

1. Narrative Skills: Helps to be able to descrie things and events and tell stories
2. Phonological Awareness: Helps to be able to hear and play with the smaller sounds in words
3. Print Motivation: Helps to be interested in and enjoy books
4. Vocabulary: Helps to know the name of things
5. Letter Knowledge: Helps knowing letters are different from each other, knowing their names and sounds and recognizing letters everywhere
6. Print Awareness: Helps to notice print, how to handle a book and how to follow the words on a page.

You can go to www.pla.org/earlyliteracy.htm for more information and greater detail on the above mentioned six pre-reading skills.

Remember to have fun when reading with your children. Get them involved in picking out a book. Ask them lots of questions and answer their questions. Praise and encourage them as you see them develop with their reading. You know your child best which is why it is so important for YOU to get involved with your child's reading development. It is also a great opportunity to have some "special" time with your children and create memories for them.

Happy Reading

Entrepreneurship

Tonight I am attending my first seminar in support of Arbonne International. I've talked with many people who are in the business or know someone in the business (some I know well, others not so much). All have found great success at different levels. I also spoke to other folks who are in Network Marketing fields selling other types of products. I talked with my hair stylist and my esthetician about the produc themselves. Both are Aveda users but have not heard or read anything negative about Arbonne products. Out of the many people I spoke with and articles I've read, I only came across one negative comment about the quality of the products. Finally, I am a user of the product and have been for the past six months. I have seen great changes in my skin, especially wrinkles that were starting to appear due to age. With all that said...

I've decided to go for it an become a consultant.

I'm putting my all into growing my business. I will take as much training that is available to me, work out shifts with my husband to be with the kids (something like M/W is mine and Tue/Th is his and weekends are ours). I will attend networking meetings, use my breaks during my day job to make calls or send emails. I will do whatever it takes to reach the goal of leaving corporate america yet still make a very good salary and be available more for my children.

I'm very excited about this new path I'm paving in my life. My dream is that it is a very positive experience for me, those I meet, and most importantly my family. I hope to show my children that you can do ANYTHING you set your mind to.

Motivation

Motivation is such an internally driven action. It requires keeping your WHY in front of you at all times. I listened to a training audio recently and one thing I really enjoyed was a portion talking about your WHY. WHY is:

What motivates you to
Hang in there for
You and your family

So, I'm putting a face to my WHYs. What's important to note is that these WHYs are attainable and are things I love. It's important not to do things just for others but also for yourself. I believe that if I am happy with my WHYs, my family will also be happy.

1. Exercise: I stay motivated to exercise to stay fit and have energy to do the things I want with my family for hopefully a very long time.

2. Become an Entrepeneur: I am motivated to get involved in a great business to earn a great living for my family and obtain the flexibility I do not have in the corporate world to spend more quality time with my children, keep my home in order, and be a happier individual for my family.


Another quote worth noting I heard on this audio is; "Excuses, we all have them. An excuse is a reason with a lie attached that we tell ourselves." Pretty powerful. I will make sure to keep the excuses to a minimum when my motivation is low.

Dream

I keep seeing or hearing "It's never too late to follow your dream." What exactly is holding me from "my dream?" Do I really know my dream? All I know is I have such a burning desire in my heart to do something other than drop my children off at daycare every day and rush to work. I want to have time to read for pleasure, personal development, and education. I want to cook and clean. I want to play with my children. I want to contribute to something that makes others happy. I'm on a quest now of what my dream will become and how I will get there. My prayers will include that God make it so known to me that I know, that I know, that I know. And then, "ACTION!"

Ideas

I got to thinking that there are so many things we are missing out on.

1. I've decided to start a list of low cost or free things to do with the kids. When I'm frustrated or bored, I will review the list and do something with them for fun.

2. I've decided to start a list of how to spark up my marriage. It's kind of at a stand still - not in a bad way - but there aren't any more google eyes or cutsie things. We need that back. We are so busy being good parents and making sure we watch our finances, and eat good. We forget to nurture each other.

LOVE

A couple of times yesterday, my beautiful daughter, Tyler, told me she loved me. One time we were in the car heading to school and she said; "Mommy?" I replied; "Yes?" "I love you." I told her I love her too. She made my morning.

The other time was last night. She came with me to my room to get dressed for bed. She decided to pick out my pjs and help put them on me. After she helped me get dressed, I gave her a hug and she said; "I love you."

She has so much love and goodness in her heart. God is so all over children. It's beautiful!

Late Thoughts

I've been meaning to blog for the past couple of days. I just haven't been able to log on due to work, playing with the kids, cooking, baths, bedtime, and finally sleep.

Monday was a holiday (Labor Day). We had such a fabulous day. What made it so good was that the family was together all day. The morning was a typical morning routine of breakfast, cartoons, getting dressed. I went to work out and Gary took the kids to the park. When I got home, we played with the kids together. Tyler went down for a nap, so I got to cooking. I cooked a Moroccan Stew and some mini quiches for Thursday. While I was cooking, Gary was able to play with Ethan and bond more with him. I felt like we were a family and I accomlished something. My house still needs a good cleaning but at least we were all in good moods and had fun together.

Sometimes I forget...

Sometimes I forget that I'm not in this alone. I have a wonderful husband that is there by my side all the time. All I have to do is ask for help. The other day I was in tears because I couldn't get the printer working to print some pictures for Tyler's school project. When I told Gary about it, he asked me if I'd like him to print them at work. All I had to do was ask.

Sometimes I forget that my daughter is four. She acts so big and is so smart. When she acts impulsively and tackles her brother (11 mo. old and 18 lbs) I get upset with her. I forget she is only four and really doesn't understand cause & effect or safe vs. dangerous.

Sometimes I forget that my life is perfect. I try so hard all the time to be a perfect mom and perfect wife and perfect employee and perfect daughter. I really don't have to try so hard. It only stresses me out and everyone seems to be very happy with who I am.